Cake Decorating 101 & Flamingo Sal...

So, I'm not really going to describe how to decorate a cake because it's just one of those things that you have to see in order to comprehend exactly how to do it, so I have uploaded the video to my Youtube channel and the link is, yes, look for it,  It's on the left hand side of this blog by my profile.   Watch and learn.

Now this is a pretty funny video because Chef Mah is a funny guy but mostly it's our guy Sal.  Sal works in the evenings so I would imagine that he gets home late.  Now I don't know if he gets much sleep at home but he does get some sleep in during class demos lol...  He's our resident Flamingo.  Never have I known any human being that can sleep on his feet like the slumbering Flamingos that i've seen at the zoo.  I know that he reads my blogs and watches the vids sometimes and when he sees this he's going to kill me but hey, one should not be standing in a spot that is within line of sight of a video cam lol...

And yes, that's my cake up there.   =}

That's my blip for my BFFs today.

Chocolate Ganache

Equal parts by weight of Chocolate and heavy cream.  Bring the Cream to a boil and pour it over the chocolate.  Let is sit for about 5 minutes then take a wire whisk and stir...

Easy peasy!!! Take that filled eclair and dip away!!!

That's my quick tip blip for my BFFs today... Enjoy!

Eclairs, Profiteroles and Swans...

The recipe is easy to find online but the technique is the one that kills it for most people and they end up with something that resembles a fritter or samoan pancake instead of a "Puff" 

So, what have I said about measuring when you bake?  Hm? I'm hard of hearing, I can't HEEEaaar you...
Ah yes, the lady in red gets the prize!  You WEIGH out EVERYTHING, so go on out and buy yourself a $35 scale at Target if you're serious about being the little Suzy home baker.  And don't forget to Tare (zero out) out the container that you are weighing out your stuff into.  Yes, you have to take into account the weight of the bowl or cup, and yes, the Big bowl weighs More than the Small cup so, tare tare tare every time you change containers for different ingredients.   It's not that I think you're a dim bulb, au contraire mon ami, most people just don't think about zeroing out and just forget to take such things into consideration.  So in the words of the infamous Mighty Mouse, "Here I come to save the DAAAAY!!!"
meh, why do I waste my time on young people who don't even know who Mighty Mouse is? lol Type in the quote and you'll find it on youtube...

Okay, take the water and butter and bring it to a boil.  No, Don't walk away because when it comes to a boil you want to put the flour in RIGHT away... Why?  What happens to water when it boils?  Lady in red gets the last dance!  It turns to steam and disappears into thin air, so?  Well, you're so precise in measuring and now you have to go pee and your water comes to a boil and what was 1 cup is now 3/4 of a cup and you pour your flour in after you've thoroughly washed your hands and then you wonder why your cream puffs didn't PUFF!...Sheesh, must I explain Everything???

So, your water comes to a boil, pour in ALL of the flour at once, and using a spoon or silicone spatula, stir, stir, stir until the flour pulls away from the side of the pot and it's now become a ball of dough, All the while it is over the flame.  Stir it over the flame for about 1 minute more after it becomes a ball. 

Remove the pot from the flame and begin stiring in the eggs 1 or 2 at a time depending on how much you're making.  Make sure that the egg is COMPLETELY stirred into the dough before you add the next.  This is Best done with a mixer but if you don't have one then use your guns and stir up a storm.
Now, before you add that last egg, Check the dough for elasticity.   Take a glob of dough in between your thumb and finger then space out your fingers and see if the dough stretches out or just breaks.  If you have a nice stretch then you don't have to add that last bit of egg or 2 depending on how big your batch is.  I'll try and find the vid and upload it, /sigh I've been slacking and have tons of vids to sort through. 

So, now you can either scoop or pipe out your dough, as directed, onto your sheet pan and bake it at suggested temp.  Yes, it's cooked at a High heat like 400° ... Why? Because the High heat causes the Moisture/water in the dough to turn into steam which in turn causes the rise in the dough and then the high heat cooks the dough to keep its form.   But! Don't get all anxious and just take out the puffs because they are a nice golden brown or "looks pretty".  It's more of a dark coppertone tan that you're looking for.  If you take the puffs out of the oven too soon, then all the moisture will not have cooked out and your puffs will not be cooked all the way and that moisture will still be steaming up inside your puff, clinging on to the top and eventually the top will start to say "Hey! You're too heavy" and your puff will give way and deflate like a balloon and once this happens well, there is no saving it.  No, it won't go puff if you put it back in the oven...you'll just have to start again.  

Puffs are "Light" and fluffy, not Heavy so pick up a puff and test it's weight.  It should feel like, Yes, a ball of air.  Cool, and fill with, well, with whatever you want!

My cheater filling is a package of vanilla instant pudding and stir in some whipped cream (add a little bit more vanilla).  But after learning how to make the filling from scratch, the flavor is so much better from scratch that I'll only make the cheater version if i'm too lazy.  If you really want to make a swan, click on the link to my Youtube channel.

That's my blip for my BFFs today!  Enjoy...

Pie Crust...3, 2, 1

I've made pie crust before... turned out horrible.  Hard to roll out, kind of rubbery and well, harder than a cabin cracker lol. 

And then I learned from Chef Mah in my Baking and Pastries class.  When you cut the fat into the flour, don't over work it.  Cut just until it's crumbly and the size of peas.  Work it in with your thumb and fingers not balling the flour and fat into your fists.  Gentle, gentle...

Add the water into the flour all at once then stir the water in until JUST incorporated into the flour, so, it'll look crumbly still.  Flour your counter, pour the dough contents onto the flour.  When kneeding the dough be gentle... Does this sound familiar?  It's almost exactly like making Biscuits.  Press and fold over perhaps 4 to 6 times max.  Portion out the dough to 10 to 12 ounces depending on your pie pan.  Roll your dough out from the center out and don't run the rolling pin off the edge tapering the edges.  poke holes in the dough before baking to allow the steam to escape and not form bubbles in your crust.  Oh, and some of you take the flour and put it all over the rolling pin so that it doesn't stick to the dough... eh hmmmm... Sprinkle flour on the dough not the rolling pin.  =}

Ratio?   3. 2. 1.   3 parts flour, 2 parts fat (butter or shortening), 1 part water.  d

I kept my promise... enough said.

That's my blip for my BFFs today.

Jungle Party at the Zoo...7/15/2011

And so I've been busy and lazy.  Busy doing nothing and too lazy to do something.  This past Friday, 7/15/2011 I went to an event catered by Lisa Dupar Catering Company at the Zoo.  There were about 30 of us Le Cordon Bleu Students and Alumni helping out at the event.  There were 4 stations set up for the plating line.  Unfortunately I was stuck next to a couple of women that drove me absolutely nuts because they were cranking out some pretty MESSY dishes and my OCD was flaring up BIG TIME and I had to reign it in quite a few times.  The one that stood beside me all night that was passing me the dishes was very close to getting the wrath of Sol...With the squirting of the salad dressing onto the plate and drizzling it off on the sides, or scooping up the beans and placing it OFF center, or touching the food and smearing crap on the rims of the dishes...

I couldn't plate any faster than the person that was taking the plates from me and so the woman passing me the plates started double and triple filing the dishes in front of me.  I must say, I did quite well keeping Evilina in check because only once throughout the whole evening did I say to keep it clean.  There were so many "or"s to list that I think the woman across the way could tell I wasn't very happy about them and at the end of the event she walked up and stood beside me and said..."I'm so sorry you had to stand next to her all night..."

Before the evenings events started Miss Messy was telling me how she's already graduated from LCB and was, as of yet, still unemployed as her Externship site had let her go after her term was over.  And so I thought to myself, after the evening was over and I had suffered through looking at the slop she was producing, no wonder that woman can't find a job as a cook and the restaurant let her go after her externship was over...So busy working fast that the quality of work just went to shit.

So, all of the students were gone and I was the only one left at the event with the catering company.  I asked the chef if there was anything I could do to help them clean up and he set me to work on various projects.  Needless to say, I didn't have a group to walk with when it was time to walk back to the parking lot where I parked.  It was dark out but that's ok, I had my flashlight.  I came to a T in the road and Hmmm? left or right?  I think it was left, and so left I went and I kept walking and walking and my bag was getting heavier and heavier and so I took the bag and up and over my head it went so it crossed from left to right...And out of the darkness came a growl-like animal noise that startled me and then I chuckled, I am at the zoo, ar ar... and it did it again and now i'm like... Umm please don't let something be an escapee coming to eat me...Yes, my eyes were wide and I was a little bit of a chicken, well, I'm more of a tasty feast with all that fatty deliciousness for a beast to sink it's incisors into, I felt like Don Knots in the Ghost and Mr. Chicken and like Don Knots I trudged on, all the while shaking in my black nonslip shoes. 

And the music was getting louder and louder and...Wait a minute, the music should NOT be getting louder, I was, after all, Leaving the event.  And I come around the bend and BAH, I'm at the North parking lot, the Entrance for the partygoers... grrrrr...*$&%9)$#)%_@#$!!  So I stop and asked the staff which direction was the South lot and she kindly offered to walk me to the...Why does she sound so soft?  I reach up to adjust my...(gasp!!!) my Hearing aid is not at my ear... I have LOST my hearing aid...  "I'm sorry, I have to backtrack, I've lost my hearing aid.  Thank you for your help."  With flashlight in hand I meticulously swept the ground looking for my Hearing aid.  I had backtracked about a 1/4 mile and was becoming disheartened and all I could think was, "Darcy is going to Kill me..."  and just as I was going to give up, the little voice in my head said, "just a little bit more" and so a little bit more I went and glinting up at me was the most beautiful red hearing aid I had Ever seen.  I have never before felt such relief, well aside from when one has to go pee really, really bad...That too is the most awesome feeling of relief...sorry, you're right. TMI!

Yes, I think I spent an hour just trying to get to the car to go home.  I've never been so happy to see that little blue convertible.

Don't get me wrong, I had a GREAT time that night.  I was just giving you the exciting tidbits of mayhem that's fun to tell.  After all was said and done I must say it was a successful, exciting evening and I'd do it again.  Hopefully with different people standing beside me.

I'll write about food tomorrow, I promise.  Pie crust I think.  It's hard to make a good pie crust.  Well, at least it was until I learned how to today.  =}

Well, Thats my blip for my BFFs today.

Baking and Pastries, Day One...

There is a restaurant in MO called the Big Biscuit and the sign outside has a little guy carrying a HUGE biscuit and when you finally get to walk inside after waiting in a long line, it has 50s oldies playing and the wait staff buzzing about to the beat of the music.

The biscuit is indeed Big and from my years of frequenting this establishment for breakfast I must say that their biscuit was very tasty but...Todays biscuit was by far the BEST biscuit from scratch that I've Ever had.  What was the difference?  Well, what I should say is, what Makes a difference is How much you Man/Woman handle the flour/dough.

When you cut in the shortening/butter into the flour you should not spend TOO much time doing so as the heat from your hands will melt the fat and you don't want to make dough out of the flour and fat. What you want is a crumbly consistency.  If you're using a combination of butter and shortening then mix the butter First then the shortening.  If you are lazy and want to combine the butter and shortening then you should refrigerate it before cutting it into the flour.

Now, when you add the liquid you should pour it all in at once then stir it just until it's combined.  Flour your counter then turn out the dough onto the counter and when you knead the dough you'll want to knead it perhaps no more than 6 times... and gently as she goes...roll the dough out to about 1/2 inch thick starting from the middle and making your way out, then cut out with a cooking cutter.  Gently bring together the scraps, rinse and repeat rolling and cutting procedures.  Did I say GENTLY!!!  Do NOT Over Knead the dough!!!

Parchment paper to line your cookie sheet then when you place your biscuits on the sheet you will have the biscuits touching each other, it makes for a more uniform rise of your biscuits.  Then you bake it to a Golden Brown Delicious.

So, go and find yourselves a biscuit recipe and apply these techniques and let me know how it turned out.  Weigh out Everything, even the liquids.  If you really want me to give you the recipe that I have then ask and ye shall recieve.  Oh, and due to the lack of glutens because of the gentle kneading, your biscuits should be wonderful even after you nuke it in the microwave...

That's my blip for my BFFs today.

The BIG Five-0 June 30, 1961...

And so I turned 50 today and I'm going to copy and paste my posts from Facebook on here just so I can have a record of it somewhere and what better place to have it than on my blog which is my journal of sorts. 

First post:  The Big Five 0... Thank you All for being a part of my life. I've had the time of my life these past 49 years. It's been quite the roller coaster ride and Every single one of you has touched my life one way or another. Life is nothing with out good Family and Friends. May you all be Blessed in your lifes journey as I have been in mine. Darcy, 19 of those years have been the BEST because of you. (and attached to this post was the theme song to Hawaii Five-0

Second post:  Thank you ALL for the Birthday wishes... Had a great time today. Thanks to Sadie for coming up from AZ to make sure I didn't just be my usual hermit self and stay home lol. We went to see Green Lantern AND Transformers. Then we went to PF Changs for Dinner with Red Velvet cake for dessert. YUM!! And we got lost on the way home lol...Hopsing one and two, too much talky talky lol...

And I'm driving  home after dinner and talking and laughing, and giggling, and laughing, and I finally "REALLY" pay attention to the road and I'm like, "hey, nothing looks familiar" WTH did i miss a turn somewhere?  So I pull out the phone and have Sadie bring up the Navigator GPS... Come to find out we were still on I5 but we were on our way to Canada.  Yes, we were going North instead of South and Sadie says "Hey, I have my passport, do you?" ROFL  So the next turnoff for us is 3 miles ahead and as I'm taking the exit I notice, Ooooo, Tulalip Casino is just up the street and I mention this to Sadie... "Hmmm It's a Sign" she says ROFL...  "Darcy would say, Why is there a charge at the Casino?"  was what she said next and we Howled with laughter but that sobered us RIGHT away LOL... So needless to say, No, we didn't go to the Casino but I, WE were very tempted but it's hard to Justify, a college student and a housewife wasting $$ at a Casino Even if it was my 50th Birthday lol.

No...Except for my knees creaking when I walk up and especially down the stairs, or having to put my glasses on to read, or not being able to shed the pounds like I used to way back when, or find that my nipples can almost go into my belly button, I don't feel any older.  I may be a little wiser because I don't really stress out about petty issues anymore, or care about what people say or do that have negative connotations and just stay away from them. 

My outlook on life?  Life is too short to be Unhappy.  Do what makes you happy.  Happy is a frame of mind.  Do not allow yourself to be brought down by negative energy and if you do find yourself in such dire straights then know that it is within your power to change that negative energy into a Positive force field.  Nobody is perfect and we all have bad days mixed in with the good but you are the person that has to make the decision as to How you will move forward and deal with the bad days... The lyrics to one of my favorite childhood songs is "If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away."

-Strive to Never burn bridges because having to try and swim to get back to the other side can be a bitch, especially if nobody wants to throw you a lifesaver.
-NEVER FAIL to Tell the people that you love that you LOVE them, as one Never knows what tomorrow may bring...
-Learn the True meaning of "Unconditional" love. 
-Say "Please" and "Thank you".  Be polite and considerate to those around you because it makes them happy and makes you a better person.

Time just FLEW right by me.  Next thing I knew my parents have passed away, my nieces and nephews are all grown up and graduating from High School, I don't recognize a lot of family members because I've been away too long and the children that they've had are having children, everyone looks familiar but I can't place who, where or when.

But now that I'm 50 there is not much else to do but just keep moving forward and seeing what more life has in store for me. 

I love you Darcy.  The love of my life these past 19 years, standing behind me through thick and thin, and especially for ALL the Family "fa'alavelave" that has so very OFTEN shown it's big gnarly teeth.  So many times I thought that you would just raise your arms and say "I've had enough" but no, you are the Most Stoic person that I have Ever met in my whole entire life.  Were that I could live up to your expectations and I could only hope and attempt to make the world a better place for you as you have done for me.

I love you my Family, my friends, The people who have enriched my life with thier love, laughter and tears.  Laughter.  Laughter is the music of the Gods.  I implore you that you find your inner strength to persue Happiness.  Life is too short to spend it wallowing in misery, sorrow and unhappiness.

And so I am today, a Half a century old and I give to you my words of wisdom from my lifes experiences...

And that is my blip for my BFFs for today.